January is a time when we resolve to change ourselves.
Our thoughts drift to diets and workouts and ways to fix things in ten easy steps. We surf the internet for the latest fitness trends and strap watches to our wrists to measure “optimized” levels of sleep. We crack open shiny new planners and fill them with goals that will bring the desired promotion, body, or relationship that will make us truly happy. Then we set New Year’s resolutions that are broken within weeks, cementing the false idea that there is something wrong inside.
Why is it that, in an age where healthy habits are readily accessible, people report increased stress, anxiety and fatigue? Perhaps the focus on wellness and striving has missed the point..
Everything you need to be happy is right here. Now.
This doesn’t mean that everything in life is jolly and perfect. Rather, it means that the recipe for moving forward and growing into your best life starts with noticing what’s already here. Taking stock of what’s already working. Being grateful for what’s already good.
If you don’t believe me, listen to Carl Rogers, foundational psychologist who said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” My other favorite Mr. Rogers (Fred) says the same thing. “I don’t think anyone can grow unless he is loved exactly as he is now, appreciated for what he is rather than what he will be.”
In our striving for self actualization, self improvement and self reliance, we have forgotten the most important self-experience of all: self compassion. Most of our goals seek affirmation from others, but the most valuable ingredient in growth is when we are kind and compassionate with ourselves.
What if the attitude was shifted from working harder to taking better care? What if a trip to the gym was seen as time to honor and nurture you body – just as it is – instead of sweating to mold it into a new shape or size? Instead of feeling that a new job or partner will magically make us happier, could we remember the things we enjoy about our current job or relationships and be grateful for how they support us?
This year, I am stepping into the new year reciting these words that spoke to me from the wall of my favorite local gift shop:
Kiss your life
Accept it as it is
Today. Now.
So that those moments of happiness
You’re waiting for do not pass you by.
That’s my simple plan for 2025. To just be who I am right now. To grow and nurture what’s working well, and not to see myself as something that needs to be fixed. And most importantly, to be thankful each and every day.
Wishing you a 2025 full of happy moments.
Ellen Bell a certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher with a specialty in the practice of positive journaling for wellness. Find out more about Ellen.