‘Tis the season for large family dinners, holiday parties at work, and bustling neighborhood festivals. Connection is the essence of holiday celebration. We join together with family and friends and honor traditions that remind us of how much we share and value together. We remember that we are part of a family, a workplace, or a community. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? So why does the idea of festive gatherings meant to bring peace and goodwill often bring about the opposite emotions: anxiety, sadness and even loneliness?
The Holiday Blues is a real phenomenon, made worse during this time of social isolation. In an age of rapid-fire communication and pervasive social media, we are more disconnected than ever. Virtual meetups and FaceTime chats can bridge physical distance, but they can’t replace the very human need for physical social interaction.
“Connection is why we’re here,” says author Brené Brown. “We are hard-wired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” In other words, we’re meant to be with others. That’s our default mode. It’s what makes us feel better.
We lose our way during the holidays when we forget an important truth; even when we are physically separated, we are never alone. As you read this, you are part of generations of ancestors, friends, and mentors who have contributed to who you are in this very moment. Everything you eat, the clothes you wear, the place where you live, is the result of countless people and resources. Take a walk outside and notice that the air you breathe was created by the trees above you and shared by the squirrel at your feet. You are part of it all, all the time.
The holidays can offer the perfect antidote if we choose to see it that way. Instead of viewing celebrations as something to avoid, see them as opportunities to connect. Of course, connection can look different for everyone. If a large, holiday party feels like too much, choose a smaller, more intimate gathering. Shopping at a small neighborhood shop can feel more comfortable than a crowded mega mall. And never forget the value of connecting with your self. A quiet walk to sip hot chocolate and enjoy your neighborhood decorated in twinkling lights can bring cheer and warm the heart.
Try these further ideas and feel more connected this holiday season:
Connect with Those in Need
If the traditional holiday gathering doesn’t inspire joy, try spending time helping others in need. One of the quickest ways to lift a dark mood is to focus on serving others less fortunate. Volunteers are desperately needed during the holidays and acts of service are one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself—research suggests serving others boosts our mood and adds purpose to our lives.
Write a Holiday Letter
If you can’t be with someone during the holidays, take a few moments to write them a letter and wish them well. It doesn’t have to include posed photos, or be written in perfect penmanship. Simple, heartfelt words are a precious and rare way to connect.
Give Gifts with Meaning
Instead of seeing your holiday shopping list as a chore, take a moment to personally connect with each recipient. Sure, everyone loves a gift card, but does this gift really reflect your relationship? Think about what they love or the little quirks that only you know because of your friendship. Take some time to think about happy memories or fun times and let your gift giving reflect this special connection. It may take a little more effort, but you’ll get the extra bonus of remembering the value of this person in your life.
Connect with Yourself
It’s easy to get burned-out with all of this holiday connecting! Make sure that your celebrations include timeout for yourself. It may be a bubble bath with a peppermint candle nearby, a warm cup of mulled wine and a reread of The Christmas Carol or perhaps a solo movie night watching your favorite festive film for the 100th time. Whatever you love, don’t forget to connect with a little self-care.
Ellen Bell a certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher with a specialty in the practice of positive journaling for wellness. Find out more about Ellen.